The Dragonfly

The Dragonfly

Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle in a community of waterbeetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond with few disturbances and interruptions. Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their friend was dead, gone forever. Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what he had found at the top. When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying. So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never known existed. Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended. But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he understood that their time would come, when they, too, would know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off into his joyous new life!

~Author Unknown~

The Silver Lining

Life has gotten off to a bumpy start in 2009 for me and many of my friends. I have been caught up in the drama of it like a salmon fighting to get up stream while trying to stay away from the bears. Today, while standing in my Room of Creation (what was at initially my Reiki Room), I was told to look for the silver lining. Well, actually I just heard "the silver lining".

Many times when I receive messages – they are simply a blip that runs through my mind like so many other thoughts. If I am not staying in present moment, they go by so quickly that I don’t hear them until I see the “billboard” or have that slap in the forehead “V8” moment. Today, I listened.

As my friend reminded me the other day, we were told this was going to happen before it started. A few months ago, I received a message while cleaning dishes that said “It is coming”. I felt and acted on the pressing need to de-clutter my house so I had a place to come and regroup. And yet, I was so caught up in trying to figure out what “it” was, how do we prepare, what should we do, etc. that I didn’t realize that it is here. I am not completely sure what “it” is but I do believe that much of what is going on in our lives and the world today is associated with the quick moving energy.

We are changing. Things are changing. But that is not all a bad thing. I can feel myself changing and I am embracing it! Things that would have been acceptable to me in the past – no longer are. These changes are promoting our growth and instead of concentrating on all the perceived negativity we should be looking for the silver lining! Yes, we have had friends pass over but they are now with us in ways they couldn’t have been when they had responsibilities here. Yes, people are going through divorces, serious car accidents, serious family issues and many other – not problems – but growth opportunities. We are being taught lessons and if we only get caught up in the drama of it – we miss the silver lining.

Now I know some of the people that read this will think I have completely gone over the edge!! But there is a silver lining in all of this and many times quite a few positive opportunities. While going through my divorce, I couldn't see how any of that drama (lots of it self induced!) could bring about many wonderful positives in my life. Now I can and I am so happy to be where I am in my journey!!

When I take the time to stop and think, I realize there are many things to be thankful for - a.k.a. silver linings - in all of these things that are happening. I have grown closer to many of my friends and feel a much stronger bond/love for them! The outpouring of love and compassion by people even ones we don't yet know has been amazing and wonderful! There are new opportunities for us to do......, be......., and to shine!!

This isn't to say that we all won't have times where there seems like there is too much going on, or we feel like we are living in a snow globe and being shaken about. BUT during those times, we must look for the silver lining!

There is always a silver lining because without change there wouldn't be any butterflies!!

Facets of a Person Versus Identity

I am currently in the process of reading The Four Insights by Alberto Villoldo. It has the normally 50,000 thoughts that run through my head in any single day increased to about 150,000! In the book he talks about why we cling to our stories. Interesting ...... we could spend days and days discussing it until we finally peeled the onion back far enough to get to the real truth. (If we were courageous enough to peel it that far.)

"Our stories give us a false sense of security and purpose" (Alberto Villoldo) In my story, I have been the oldest child, wife, mother, ex-wife and single parent to name a few. My identity was defined by who I was based on what role I was playing. What a sense of security and purpose you have playing the wife role! "I simply must get home to my husband because ................." insert whatever fits your story. "My husband and I are going to ............" - again insert whatever fits your story. So what happens when you get divorced or your children grow up and leave home? What role are we playing then? How do we adapt to the changes? Do we just grasp at another role that seems very familiar and comfortable?

Well, I have to tell you that it wasn't an easy change in role for me from wife to ex-wife/single parent. I believed the stories I was being told from well meaning friends, acquaintances and our society. "You have to be mad at him!" "How could he do that to you and the children?!" "It is too hard to be a single parent!" "What will you do?" "You need to find a man." I not only listened to them and embraced them but I wanted desperately to believe them!! My story was changing from one dramatic tale to another! If I let go of the story then WHO was I? What was my purpose and how scary that is to be "all grown up" and not know exactly where your life is going!?!

When I started figuring out that I was more than just ex-wife, mother and Human Resources Manager; I started to find the real me. All the different facets of me not just an identity or role that I play in my life. It is very confusing for the people in your life when you start moving out of the role they associate with you. They become bewildered because you are sampling and tasting new things to see how they fit into the person you are creating. "Boy, you have really jumped into this Gettysburg and metaphysical stuff lately, haven't you?" Is a recent comment from a friend. No - what I am doing is finding my passions and adding to the facets of me! Not everything I try will become something that I want to be a facet of me. I tried Feng Shui and while it was interesting - it wasn't for me. But since I have tried it - I now KNOW it isn't for me. I also reserve the right to maybe check it out again in a few years to see if it right for me then! Thankfully determining who you really are - all the facets of you doesn't have to be done in a certain time frame!

Farewell 2008 and Welcome 2009!!

I feel like in order to appropriately welcome 2009, we must bid 2008 farewell. The year 2008 brought me many wonderful joys, lessons and gifts. In January 2008, I attended a class led by my friend Deb Estep at the Baladerry Inn. During that class, I met many wonderful new friends to name only a few: AngelHawk, Terry and Hunter, Katzi, Sonya Barclay, the trees and Mother Nature. While all of them have touched my life in special ways - the ones that I am going to focus on now are the trees and Sonya.

During the weekend, Deb had us take a nature walk to have us connect with our Mother and all her wonderous beauty. I set off on the walk not knowing what to expect and fully feeling silly! I was waiting for someone to jump out of the bushes saying "Smile, you are on candid camera!" Well, no such luck even though I had done my hair for the occasion!! But I did have very powerful and life changing experiences during the walk and the rest of the weekend! I met a tree who gifted me with a her beautiful story:

January 12, 2008

I found my spot at the Sach’s Bridge. It is high up past the fence on and in between a fallen tree. You can hear the sound of the water as it is on its journey. It is busily talking as it hurries on its way.

The birds are quietly enjoying their day as they chatter only when it is important. The fresh smell of mint growing along the ground mixes with the earthy smell of the damp tree. The tree has decided that its time for growing is complete as it moves into its next phase.

There are red buds of new growth on the wild rose bush that is the neighbor to my host tree. Interesting how the cycle of life flows so nicely together. The tree is showing me through its ever present patience that although it is finished its growing period it is not done here. Now is the time for different opportunities. There are places to live for wildlife, places for guests to come sit and enjoy and now is the time to give back to Mother Nature by shedding and becoming one with her.

My tree has spent many nights staring at the stars and many days watching the sun. She has born her babies and is now happy to become one with Mother Earth. She will never forget the days she watched but is very thankful for this time to rest and give back. ----The Tree

At the time - I didn't realize the sigificance of the tree, her story or meeting Sonya.

She (Sonya) came into our lives with beauty and grace. She had us all enraptured with her stories, knowledge and wisdom. She helped make sure that we were all a tightly knit group or the red buds of new friendships growing. She has gifted us with many treasured memories from her friendship but it was decided that her time in her physical body was complete and she moved into her next phase of her journey. She is showing me (despite my hardheadedness) through her ever present patience that although she has gone back to spirit form, she is not done here. Now is the time for different opportunities.

Out of my grief of losing (or so I thought) Sonya after only knowing her about a year - I went for another nature walk. This time to help process my pain and loss. While out walking, I was gifted with another story/thought. This time, I believe it came from Sonya.

12/28/08
How do fish grieve? They swim together moving quickly this way and that. Spending most of their lives together in schools. What do they feel when a loved one is taken from them? When we as humans get out of high school or college, we feel we are through with our schooling. But life is one big school, isn't it?! Learning to recognize that we are only 1 of the living things on this plant. We have our friends - the finned, the furred, the winged, plants and our beloved trees. How do they grieve? They lose loved ones, homes, and all the things we do. Maybe if we just listen a little closer to our friends - we can all comfort each other during our times of loss and grief. Maybe that will bring us one more step closer to understanding and peace.

To Sonya Barclay and 2008 - I bid you adieu for now!! You will both be treasured in my heart and memory forever!

To 2009 and all the wonders that await us..............Welcome, my friend, welcome!!!!